August has always been a tough month for me. It’s around the corner, and I go about thinking it’s going to be easy and nice, people are relaxed and on holidays, blabla.. And most years it turns out to be a little chaotic and sometimes even kind of stormy. I guess it’s time I lowered my expectations a little?
I wanted to ask, have you read the book Little Beach Street Bakery? If you haven’t then I would really recommend it! Maybe I loved it because basically it’s telling a very similar story to mine. Who else likes to read books and watch movies that reflect their own life situations?
In Little Beach Street Bakery (Oh, if you didn’t know, it’s a trilogy by the way… #cannevergetenough) Polly, the main character, splits up from her partner of 7 years, and starts a new chapter of her life at the age of 32. She goes to hide in a small island in Cornwall. Can I just pause here and say that I did something slightly smarter though (sorry Polly!)? I went down South to Portugal instead where the sun shines a little brighter! But the rest of the story is pretty much the same.
Here I am, 33, I just split up with my partner (and fiancé) of 7 years, and I am here, in my little corner of the world, trying to make sense of life.
Back to the book. A few weeks after Polly moves to this little island, she meets Tarnie, a local fisherman, and well, you know, things happen… And so the same happened for me (..except he is no fisherman..but it could have been the case you know!) I met someone only 4 weeks after I was single. But, but… it turns out Tarnie is pretty much an arse, and… so is the man who entered in my life.
It’s convenient, in the book Tarnie.. ah, actually I can’t ruin it for you, so I won’t tell you what happens next. All of this to say that in August I ended up struggling more than I thought I would.
I took a risk, and I paid a little price. I was not ready. My intuition tried to warn me but I was attracted by the new, the curious, the dangerous. My word being “fearless”, I just wanted to go for it, go for love, take a risk… It didn’t turn out for the best, no, but you know what? I truly was fearless. And really, that’s what matters here. Now at least I know what to expect from this person. And that’s also why he is no longer part of my life.
I decided to implement this experience with a few words, and the memory I keep from him is through a photo he took while I was surfing at sunset. It’s about remembering the good stuff, right?
Oh August, this year it’s been about getting to know myself, letting go, jumping from one cloud to another, landing in the cold water, and appreciating what truly brings me joy. This is where my pages come into life. I focused on the good, the positive through images.
The surf was awesome. I got more confidence because “be fearless” resonates with me each time I try to get a bigger wave or a new spot. For the first time I surfed my home spot, which is quite a tricky one. The friendships were great, and so was the road trip to France. I was fearless in listening to my explorer self and in doing what I felt like doing, without putting myself down.
Good bye August, thank you for coming September.