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To old places & new beginnings

To old places & new beginnings

It’s funny how life happens. It couldn’t feel more surreal for me right now. After leaving for France and coming back to Portugal, I am now back here in the village where my Portuguese chapter started. I am so happy here, that I know. I can’t make sense of any of it though. It looks like I made a circle, only it doesn’t feel like back to Square one. It feels better, way better.

All I do is look around. I see familiar friendly faces, I meet new ones. Not much has changed here after all.

The one thing that changed though, is me. The person who moved here in 2016 was heartbroken and blind. The person I am now has shed many tears, many layers, many broken cords.

I dropped so much. I traveled into many dark places, escaped from uncomfortable traps I had created, I fought endlessly for the part of myself that wanted to believe this could be a good place to live in. That I was worthy to live.

I learned to rest, to meditate, to calm my nervous system, but the one thing I really learnt that changed it all: I finally learnt to respect, trust, and listen to my intuition. Instead of constantly trying to escape from myself, I leaned into my own voice. And now, I found the peace I was so longing for.

Picking myself up again wouldn’t have been possible without the help of my close family, professionals, and good friends. I feel blessed to have received all the support I needed along this tough and long journey of awakening.

What I can’t quite understand yet, is why here? Why this specific village? All I know for sure is that I never felt any more at home than in this place.

The story of how it all happened is still incredible to me. I had given up on staying here in Portugal. Not because I no longer loved it, but because finding a home was so difficult. For various reasons, I had decided I would move to Northern Spain, I had made a plan. And just like that, as if the Universe said “Nope, not having again her whole shit show of moving countries and starting anew somewhere else”, a new home appeared for me. A home meeting all my requests and wishes, a home where I already found the calm and silence I was so longing to hear. It made me think.

It’s as if this whole area was one of a kind for people in need of healing. It might only be a belief, but I do see how this place changes and challenges people. Especially the ones coming from abroad. Something here, invisible, makes it special. It’s not the surf, not the North winds, not the pão com chorizo. It’s something else.

I believe this place is a rainbow of chance. A window of opportunities. A portal opening for you to make your dreams a reality. A space for you to live more authentically, to connect, or reconnect, to yourself, others, to the Natural world.

Only you have to go for it. You have to take that chance. And for that, you have to believe that you are capable of whatever it is you want with your whole heart.

This place can be the starting point before you fly to other destinations. This place can be the healing bubble you need for one week, one month, or every summer. This place may also be the mirror for all your fears and insecurities. Whatever it is for you, it will show you and direct you to what you need in order to grow into your more authentic self. That’s what I believe, and I have seen it many times within the last years.

This place is magical, scary, enchanting, powerful, wild, and fierce. And my heart sings every single day it wakes up here. I’m rising again. Softly. Finally. Humbly.

Thank you for reading.

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