This thing we say about people sometimes, “She looks lost”, or “I think he’s a bit lost”. How do we know? How do we sense this? I guess we just do. It’s something we never learned to observe, but we can see it. Just think about it.
One of the hardest things I have come to accept is this: Can we help those who are lost? No, we can’t. It’s hard to admit it but it’s the truth. Try going on a diet for someone else, it’s impossible. It hurts me to see when people are lost. And yet, I was lost once too. I too made a decision at some point in my life, a decision that moved me away from my purpose, from myself. We all get lost at some point. It’s the flow of life. Sometimes we may even move away so far from ourselves that we become unable to see or feel our gift anymore. Sometimes, pride and ego take over, in the silent name of fear, and make it so much harder for us to even consider that we have yet to learn, in order to return home. In order to live, fully. In order to feel Love again.
I’m writing these words for whoever wants to read them. Guidance? Maybe. I only think that the more people express themselves about this, the more we may encourage others to take the first step. To learn, one must be willing to listen. To listen, one must be willing to stop, and look around. Is this really the life I want? Is this really all I am capable of? Is this really how I make my space in this world?
I can only talk about this here because even though I was willing to listen, I never really stopped, I rushed within the noise, so one day I was in some way, forced to stop, stuck in a space where I just had to wonder: Is this really the life I dreamed of? Is this really all I can achieve? Am I going to settle down for this?
Was it scary to listen to the answers? Yes. Because I knew the answer was simply No it’s not the life I dreamed of, not here, not like this. The next question naturally comes up then: Well then, what do I want to do?
Such a difficult question to answer. We’re so good at talking about others, but when it comes to saying the truth about ourselves, it’s a different story. By speaking our truth, we become accountable. And being responsible and accountable takes a good chunk of courage. It’s okay not to feel this courage at first. Sometimes it’s about what needs to be dropped off first in order to make a fresh clean space for something better.
I feel that for those of us living in the Western civilisation, we have yet to learn so much more. How to stop. Look inwards. And listen to the whispers. Even though this is at our core, our centre, we never have we been guided to learn to listen. Something I hope one day kids learn in school. Is this something maybe even still too taboo to talk about openly? No one really talks about this. Yes, spirituality is very trendy, but it doesn’t have to be all crystals and tarot cards to simply acknowledge that every human on this planet is worth Gold. That the way some of us have been educated, that some painful life experiences may have pushed us away from our gift instead of closer to it. How we decided that those painful experiences were all we deserved instead of seeing them as learning lessons to bring us closer to who we were always meant to be. It’s not too late.
The past months have been so intense for me that I am still learning to find the right words. I stumble. I hesitate. And yet despite all of this, I know now where to find the answers to my uncertainty, how to calm down fear, how to feel safe. There is no regret whatsoever that I could ever have about finally stopping and finding my home again. I feel that now, at age 35, my life has really just begun. There is the Before I came back home, and the Now. All five senses fully awake, soft steps, a warm light, reassurance, only because now I know where to turn to when I feel unsure. Discovering new, real connections as I sure am being placed on the path of others who have gone through the exact same thing, only to reinforce the fact that yes, this is all real, this wonderful experience of coming Home.
Yung Pueblo said, “All mental tension comes from not letting go.” and “Harm is passed down from person to person until one decides to do the inner work and let it go.”
This. The inner work. I believe it is the one thing that scares us, humans, the most. Looking within, not knowing what we’ll find. The fear of the black space, a cold emptiness. The fear that we maybe are simply nothing. Nothing would mean no worth, no love. Another mind trick. This is where we’re wrong. You, me, we’re all here for a reason. Once you finally see what’s in you, you’ll have to work hard to make it real, because happiness comes from what lies beneath the surface, it comes from what you do for yourself.
If you feel lost, you’re not alone. We all stand alone in the crowd. Even more today than ever before, it seems difficult to look up, and observe quietly. But once you decide to step forward again, you will see. The crowd of others who have been through the same, right here next to you. Synchronicity, how things match so suddenly, like a puzzle slowly putting itself together. You just have to watch it, it’s pure magic.
I now sometimes wonder when I was lost if it maybe was hard for others to see it too without acting. There is nothing you can say or do, because “people will only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.” We have to respect this. Compassion and love are the only goodness we can bring to each other. A bit like the toddler who falls again and again until he learns to walk, there is nothing the parents can do but be present, supportive, full of love.
We all lose our way at some point in our lives, it’s normal. Don’t let this define the rest of your existence, as there is a whisper that softly tells you that you are worthy of everything you wish for. Remember it. Remember You.