If you or your partner decided that you no longer match, well it’s hard. Whether you are the one who made the decision or not, you have to go through a non-negotiable time of grief. At first, we feel empty, sad, the new reality is harsh and boring. Slowly (and how well made is the mind made), the disagreements disappear to softly leave the happier memories behind. Healing only comes with time and acceptance.
I am going through one of these right now. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship lasted, its intensity is not related to time. I have asked around what way would be the best for me to document it. See, maybe in normal times I just would not document it at all, but it turns out the breakup happened the day after my Week in the Life project. Should I document it, or should I ditch all the photos for now and choose a new week for my future (grown) self? Documenting this is a little tricky, but thanks to the advice of fellow memory keepers, I came up with 2 ways of getting through it:
- Journal and write down all the emotions that need to come out now. Whether they are frustrations, anger, sadness, questions, worries, it’s better to write them down as they come out and allow us to process things a little better.
- Document only the good stuff. Because (unless your ex was a complete jerk), you may want to look back later in time and remember that you also did have fun.
Journal for your current self as a healing process.
Document for your future self, as a way to feel grateful in the future.
These spiritual oriented tips might also help along the way:
- Don’t hate your ex-partner, it will only hurt you more, not him/her and you don’t want that anyway.
- Remember why you two broke up, but also what attracted you in the first place. It puts the situation back in a neutral objective, helps to rebalance the emotions and will allow you to feel empathy. You might also look at yourself and take responsibility for your current self (as tough as it can be to admit sometimes).
- Always look at a situation with love. That’s a tough one, but with practice it holds the power to completely shift your angle and see the whole story in a peaceful way. Even though our emotions can be strong shortly after a breakup, they cannot take over the underlying feelings, and these emotions will slowly fade away.If you want to keep the control of yourself and protect your soul, it’s better to accept the situation as it is, and be ok with it. If you have questions and doubts, journal them. But deep down you know that if it happened, it was for a reason. Somehow you two had a path to walk together, and you will grow stronger out of this, you will learn from the experience and gain wisdom, as well as clarity on what it is you want and don’t want in a relationship.
- You will see that it will instantly bring you a calming and peaceful effect, which is really only what you need right now.
Keep strong, bring peace in your daily routine and let time do its work. One day you will remember the happy moments as the processing work will be complete.